fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
