Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
