I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize