just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
