hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
