woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
