Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
