Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
