what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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