Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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