yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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