Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
