I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
operation harelip BJ is a go
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
