You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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