You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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