Already got asked if we're dating
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it glows. i had to have it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
