He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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