Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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