k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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