Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
