So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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