Bisexual people are plain selfish.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
