We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
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Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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