remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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