At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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