Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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