She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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