Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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(310): View more from California

This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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(415): View more from California

the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.

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(646): View more from New York

Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?

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(716): View more from New York

im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis

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(650): View more from California

sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.

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