Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug. http://tfl.nu/sjuy
  Replies (25) Good night (3468) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week (1-202): stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant http://tfl.nu/5f4w
  Replies (63) Good night (3773) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?! http://tfl.nu/q1jx
  Replies (17) Good night (1666) Bad night (4002)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2613) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2
  Replies (5) Good night (1178) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob. http://tfl.nu/r7qm
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (3864)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Does it taste like semen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it. (214): Does it taste like semen? http://tfl.nu/qasv
  Replies (10) Good night (4375) Bad night (1527)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night. http://tfl.nu/q563
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (1841)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2087) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function http://tfl.nu/8zfe
  Replies (1) Good night (1483) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device. http://tfl.nu/lmjt
  Replies (4) Good night (1619) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t
  Replies (7) Good night (3132) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md
  Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls http://tfl.nu/pmrc
  Replies (3) Good night (1054) Bad night (374)

Randomize