i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker