It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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