You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
