if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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