nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
