he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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