I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
