I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
