Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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