watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
