I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
