Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
