Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
