ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
