i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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