did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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