Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
