I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
