Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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