guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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