well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
