Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
