What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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