I can text with my tongue
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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