I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
