Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just google imaged poop.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
