I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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