I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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