So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
