He kissed a someone with a penis
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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