I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
