I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
