four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize