Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
