Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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